I Megaphone

Most tourist cities like Rome are infested with street merchants. Each trying to sell you "designer clothes" at discount prices or sunglasses that light up in blue neon for no reason. I was talking about these merchants with one of my classmates, BradyBunch, when he told me about his interactions with a street merchant the previous night. Apparently the street merchant had tried to sell him a knock off watch but BradyBunch proved to worldly a traveler and too frugal a business man for him. 

BradyBunch: "What? You want 5 Euro for this? They sell this for 1 Euro in China... I'll give you 1 Euro for it.

Confused Merchant: "Screw you! I paid 2.50 Euro for this?"

BradyBunch: "What? This took maybe 60 eurocents to produce... maybe. If you really paid that you should start getting a better deal for yourself, you are getting screwed"

Confused Merchant: "Fuck you."

BradyBunch told me that in general, you shouldn't buy anything from these street merchants, however there is one very important exception. "Not all of them have it, but if you find a merchant with a megaphone you have to buy it." I asked him what I would need to do with a megaphone. "Oh man, everything in life can be better with a megaphone." I took his word as gospel and when I was out later that night I found a street merchant with a megaphone. I haggled him down from 20 euro to only 7. Yes, I am now the proud owner of a megaphone. Get ready for everything I say to be louder.

BullSh*t

While in Madrid we decided to take in an event that has become one of the hallmarks of Spanish culture: The Bullfight. All of us were pretty excited, even though we didn't know exactly what to expect. I was hoping to see daring escapes from death by men in brightly colored costumes; following each one with a shout of "OLE!"

We did not get what we were hoping for. If you have ever been to a bullfight you will know it is really quite a depressing affair. First, six bullfighters team up on one animal confusing it and tiring it out. This stage is topped off when an armored, blindfolded horse his put in the bulls path of rage while it's rider jabs at the bulls neck with a large pointed spear.  Then bullfighters get the bull to come at them, stepping out of the way at the last second and stabbing them in the neck with what are essentially huge darts. After this the bull is disoriented and groggy. Then the main event happens, 1 bullfighter gets the bull to go around him for a while before finally stabbing him in the neck with a long sword. If he is precise he can kill the bull in one shot, if not it can take 3-4. Then the dead bull is dragged off from the arena by horses and the whole process starts anew.

Although the bullfighters are undeniably talented in what the do the whole event seems a bit unfair overall. It amounts to 7-8 people with weapons ganging up on 1 confused bull. I am glad I can now say I have been to a bullfight but I probably will never go to one again. 

Study time

Unfortunately I won't have as much time for writing as I have had over the last few weeks because classes have started. That being said, you all might actually be lucky because I haven't had too much to write about. Really it has just been studying (so unless you are rivetted by the fast moving worlds of professional responsibility and entertainment law my stories from right now might be a little dry.)

That being said I will do my best to keep you all entertained and distracted from your jobs as soon as I get something good to write about.

When in Rome

So I finally made it to Rome, the place I will be studying for the next six weeks. I am proud to have survived my first (and probably only) real globetrotting experiance. It was nuts but now I am exhausted. Classes start tomorrow. The worst.

Degrassi: The Canadian show no Canadians watch

When I was a junior in college the guys in my house started watching more than our fair share of Degrassi. For those of you who don’t know, Degrassi is a Canadian high school drama currently in it’s 9^th season. It is kind of like Saved by the Bell,  except they deal with all the most messed up issues that most American shows don’t touch. For example, they have episodes in which one main character is revealed as a cutter, another main character gets gonorrhea and there is Columbine style shooting that leaves a main character paralyzed (there is also an episode about how that character has a problem of erectile dysfunction after being paralyzed.)

 

So I know a fair amount of people that watch Degrassi in the US and since it is a Canadian export which has run for 9 seasons I figured it must be huge over there. In our hostel we have met tons of Canadians and I have asked them all if they watch this show (as a really nerdy icebreaker.) To my dismay none of them watch it. At all. What the hell?

What a Snore

Living in close quarters with others often gives you little tidbits about yourself that you would miss otherwise. For example, I now know that I snore very loudly but only after a night of heavy drinking. I used to snore a lot but I thought the problem went away after I had my tonsils removed a few years ago.

 

Snoring was  a fixture of my house growing up. For years my father snored very loudly, so loudly in fact that my other had to wear earplugs to bed. For decades my mother wore wax earplugs every night, then every once in a while would get some gadget to try and solve the problem in a different way. For example I remember she once bought a device that he would wear on his wrist and anytime a loud enough sound occurred it would vibrate. Apparently he just slept through the vibration and my mother’s woes continued.

 

Mind you this was not light snoring. It could be heard throughout pretty much the entire house. To give you all a sense of scale I will tell you one of the definitive field trip stories of my life. When I was in 5^th grade my class had a sleepover at the Minnesota zoo. The boys slept in the aquarium area while the girls slept in the dolphin area, my father volunteered to be one of the chaperones. At night 5 of the boys in my class woke up very scared because they mistook his snoring for an animal on the loose. That was the last school field trip my father chaperoned.

Is it still a Rubber?

In the airport on the way from Barcelona to Madrid I spotted these in the gift shop. For just 2.5 Euro (or around $4) you too can own a condom that has “I love BCA” written on the wrapper. Who buys these kinds of things?

Crazy House Pt. 2

I really like this hostel. At night is gets a little nuts but to me that is a good thing. Everyone is super friendly and they play great music (for example right now I am sitting here and they are playing live versions of all the greatest hits of the Cure.) Last night I started talking to the kid who had tripped balls on ecstasy mixed with acid my first night here. He was telling me how fucked up he was. I guess he secluded himself to his room and crawled under his bed to sleep because he thought the top bunk was growing fangs and trying to attack him. When he wasn’t in an irrational fit of fear from the mattress above him he imagined that David Bowie was talking to him but for some reason his mouth was on his forehead. I was, understandably, a bit confused with his description but he cleared that up by whipping out his Iphone and showing me an image he had photoshopped to explain his trip to people. I can’t reproduce it but believe me when I tell you it was pretty messed up*. This recounting of his evening was enough to convince me never to do acid.**

 

**I know my parents read this blog so I would be dumb to admit to doing acid in the first place in this forum, but honestly that hard stuff scares me more than you would believe.

 

I got to talking to the guy more and he was actually a pretty cool guy. He is an Australian graphic designer who owns his own business. This allowed him to just shut down shop for 2 months and travel around Europe. We talked for a bit about Helvetica which I mentioned in my post about my favorite documentaries (Hotwheels makes fun of me all the time for my obsession with that movie.) When he told me he was in logo design I tried to offer him 2 Euro to make me a logo. He laughed because he usually charges between 1,000 and 5,000 Euro. Although a little too rich for my blood I will continue working on him to see if I can get my own personal insignia before leaving Barcelona.

* after being facebook friends with the graphic designer he posted a photo of what he saw so he could explain it to everybody... this is it. Pretty messed up right?

For the Birds Pt. 2

This photo was taken in Barcelona at a fountain in a crowded square. Apparently this guy was very upset with the bird so he was trying to drown it. It was surreal. There were people sitting all around the edge of the fountain enjoying the beautiful weather when all of a sudden a crazy guy rushes in and starts drowning this bird. The bird, fighting for its life, starts trying to bite him so he will let go. As you can see in the picture one guy sitting on the edge of the fountain stopped him, but then a conflict erupted. All of a sudden the would be bird executioner is yelling at him (in Spanish mind you, but Bolt translated) “DON’T YOU TOUCH ME! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!

 

I showed this photo to a couple of people in our hostel and they were shocked. What was more surprising however was the fact that a couple of British girls in our room had seen this guy about an hour earlier on his bike chasing the bird around. In their words “it looked bizarre but I figured that he and the bird were mates, and he had trained it to run from him.” If they were friends apparently they had a falling out. 

Crazy House

When we arrived in Barcelona it was around 11 P.M and we hadn’t yet eaten. We tried to check into the hotel but there was a sign up explaining that they were “closing a shift” and would be back soon. Soon apparently meant within the next 45 minutes. While the girls were getting a bit upset because they were so hungry, I took in the crazy bar room antics going on behind us. About 5 minutes after we got there we saw a young Australian man get naked and do 2 laps around the bar, apparently the rules of his game. I was surprised to learn that of all the people playing with him, not many of them knew each other at all. This kind of welcoming environment is something I could get used to.

 

After finally checking in and finding something to eat I was lugging my suitcase up the stairs when I ran into a Canadian gal. “Hola” I told her, thus exhausting my entire retained vocabulary from 3 years of high school Spanish. “Hola”  she said while giving me a come hither stare. “Where are you from?” With this I felt like a bit of a fraud. I had spoken such excellent Spanish that I made this girl believe I was a true Spaniard, I considered going along with this little fantasy I had concocted in my head but instead I decided to come clean:

 

“I’m from the states, Minnesota actually. How about you?”

“I’m from Toronto, what’s your name?”

“I’m [TheHamborgler], how about you?

“I’m Ashley, when you get done putting that bag away you should come down and hang out at our table, we are the loudest ones we should be easy to find”

“I really hope so”

 

After putting my bag upstairs all the girls decided to go to sleep while I went down and drank with an array of foreigners. Although I found Ashley she seemed to be engaged in flirtation with another beau at the time and although every once in a while she would break from that conversation to make kissy faces at me I knew that our grand love affair would never be. Instead I found some other people to talk to. One guy from Australia was pretty messed up, but he informed me he was about to get much more so because he had just taken a fist full of pills. After briefly considering the cost benefit of seeing a stranger completely messed up I decided to move along. So I started talking to a girl who claimed to be Polish. I guess I don’t know what a Polish accent sounds like but this was not what I imagined. I also didn’t imagine a Polish gal to be so cool and breathtakingly gorgeous. Apparently she had broken her jaw a few years ago playing Rugby (bonus) so perhaps that realigned her face in the shape of beauty, either that or I was drunk and she was really cool.

 

This place is nuts and I am very much looking forward to seeing just how crazy it gets. 

Chill Out

While in London we went to an Ice bar. Many of you know I have wonderful natural body temperature regulation so I wasn’t too worried about spending 40 minutes in a bar constructed completely of ice. For 14 pounds we got some time in the ice bar and a free vodka drink. The cups and all the furniture were made of ice which they claimed to import from some far away location because it was the “purest ice in the world. The drinks were all very fancy and had names like “the destructor” or “the mixinator.” Basically the drinks sounded like the names of the American  Gladiators that came onto the show in season 7, after all the good names were taken (I mean… not everyone can be Nitro or Gemini, and only 1 can be Malibu.)

 

In any case, it was cool (literally) for the period of time we were there. We took our pictures and did all the requisite fun things one can do with 40 minutes in a room with ice furniture. Luckily they provided us with parkas and gloves (though my gloves were wet from people spilling drinks on them) so we didn’t get too cold. It was a fun experience and something to check off my list of life accomplishments but I probably wouldn’t go back. It got boring after I ran out of ice based pictures to take and Arnonld-Schwarzenagger-as-Mr.-Freeze based quotes. 

Paris

Paris was unbelievable. It was by far my favorite of the cities we have visited thus far. The food was unbelievable, the town has great character and the people (contrary to stereotype) are extremely nice.

 

Day 1 we spent getting acquainted with the Louvre. Although it is impossible to see everything that museum has to offer in a day we hit all the big pieces (the mona lisa, the Venus de Millo etc.)  The sheer scale of that museum was jaw dropping. One room there put the entirety of the Reijks to shame. After the Louvre we went to the Eiffel tower. Because it is one of the most renown and famouse structures in the world my expectations were pretty high. Although it is certainly breathtaking at first glance it is really not all that beautiful. It is kind of a muddy brown color with green netting all around it. This effect is definitely covered up, however, at night when all the lights are shining out from it and the color of the metal in the structure is obscured.

 

The second day we happened upon a square which offered us amazing views of the city along with fantastic street performers. We must have spent at least a couple of hours watching strangers break dance, put on concerts and do things with a soccer ball I didn’t know were possible. It was amazing and free entertainment with an unbelievable cityscape as the backdrop.

 

The last day I spent at the Picasso Museum. The girls all decided not to go in because the Louvre had exhausted their desire to view art. My thirst for culture however is not so easily satiated. I looked into the museum and wandered around for a little bit. Hoping I would find and fall in love with a little Parisian art lover. Unfortunately things did not unfold that way… I guess I will just have to go back and try again some time. 

Hen Night

While taking the walking tour of London something in particular caught my eye. There was a group of 20 women of varying ages walking down the street together in disheveled and skanky school girl outfits. I could not believe that those ladies actually attended any classes in those cloths nor would any institution tight laced enough to force their students to wear uniforms let that fly. When I asked our tour guide about it she informed me that it was probably a group of women going out for their “hen night.” The british equivilant of the bachelorette party, apparently hen nights usually include a larger group of women (20 was actually a bit low) all dressing up in some form of slutty uniform commonly nurses or schoolgirls. When our tour guide told me this she was surprised that the American bachelorette party did not usually include skanky costumes. I had to tell her “no, in America that is called Halloween.”

Friendly Hostel

Over the course of our journeys we have stayed in some pretty nice hostels. Usually we are accommodated with comfortable beds, clean facilities, good atmospheres and clean rooms. That being said, every hostel is different. Right now we are staying in a hostel called St. Christopher's. It is connected to a bar, this gives us discounts. It also has a cool roof patio that I enjoyed last night after going out. This hostel is great, but it has it's little quirks. First of all, each compartment of the hostel on the way to our room as a distinctly different smell. These smells range from disgusting to quite nice. Also this hostel is nutty because it is massive yet very unorganized. It makes me feel like I am in an M.C. Escher painting.

Van Gogh House V. Rijks Museum

While in Amsterdam I visited both of these museums. Honestly I wish I knew more about the art world. I have always really enjoyed going to art museums but I don’t know enough about the subject to really keep up. I figure while I am over in Europe I can get more educated and see some of the best museums in the world.

 

Amsterdam is the home of two museums dedicated to artists widely considered to be in the top 20 of all time. Rembrandt and Van Gogh. The two Museums were very different though. The Rijks had a great sculpture garden out front where pictures were allowed (bonus) but inside it was extremely small. Also I am not a big fan of the art of Rembrandt. Rembrandt’s paintings look like photographs. While I can certainly appreaciate the amount of skill this takes it doesn’t provide for anything that is very visually interesting. I am sure that if I saw this art before the invention of the photograph I would be singing a very different toon, but as it stands now I can’t look at Rembrandt’s art for very long.

 

This is the only painting in the Rembrandt Museum that really struck me... it is his first attempt at a self portrait done when he was in his early 20's

The Van Gogh museum was awesome on the inside. All of his paintings are visually stimulating, if not realistic looking. His use of color is immaculate. Also the museum itself is much larger and more extensive. I really wanted to take pictures of many of his works but wasn’t allowed (not that that stopped a lot of people.)

 

This was one of my 4-5 favorite Van Gogh pieces at the Museum and the ones the girls were the most into. It was painted for his god daughter. 

Winner: Van Gogh Museum. 

Amster-don't

So far Amsterdam has been by far my least favorite of all the cities we have been to. I am not hip enough to really enjoy the city living and not enough of a tool to get so into Marijuana culture to enjoy the city the way most douche bags do.

 

What is so upsetting is that the city has so much potential. It has great historical sights like the Anne Frank house, great art museums with the Rijks and the Van Gogh Museum blocks from each other. It has great parks and monuments. The problem is that it also has weed. In a place where Marijuana is legalized I expected people to be a bit more high-minded (forgive the pun) about it. I expected people to be able to smoke a joint in a coffee shop but still be able to carry on a good conversation. I underestimated the power of 19-year old American and Canadian potheads. Because of them this wonderful little city is full of shitty souvenir shops which sell t-shirts specifically made for people who are WAY to into smoking weed.

Exhibit A

I guess I can’t blame it on the city. It is a matter of supply and demand. Shops can make a lot of money by selling douches pot based products so why not? I just wish that city had a little more self-respect. 

For the Birds

Chalk up another thing that annoys me about Europe. The birds here are too fearless. They travel in packs and are not afraid of humans at all. They would routinely eat at your feet and then fly right up in your face without any warning. This picture was taken INSIDE of the Amsterdam airport… a bird was just hanging out and eating.

 

PS. I wonder where his flight was too. 

Security Threat

While flying from Amsterdam to Berlin I had to get some new headphones because mine broke during the train ride from Bruges to Amsterdam. I stopped into one electronic shop before the security checkpoint to look for a suitable replacement. I know airports are overpriced but the cheapest sets of headphones here were earbuds, which I find unbearably uncomfortable, for 30 euro. I decided to try my luck on the other side of the security checkpoint.

 

On the other side I saw another electronic store which had a pair of simple headphones for 11.99 euros (or 17 dollars and change American) and I decided to get them so I could listen to my ipod on the plain. This is where the story gets a little interesting. As I walked up to pay the woman at the cashier counter asked for my boarding pass and my passport. After paying she wrote my passport number on the receipt. Why was this necessary? I had already passed through airport security, ostensibly much more detailed and important for national security than buying headphones from an electronic store. Are there a lot of international art thieves buying headphones inside the airport and they want to keep tabs on us? Maybe they were just messing with me because I am American. 

Best/Worst things about Europe

So far Europe has been good but everyplace has its positives and negatives. These are my top three positives and negatives of Europe (or at least the places I have been so far)

Positives:

1) Beauty- every building is amazing. The architecture is nothing like most American cities. its like ever building has its own story. Just walking around sometimes makes me say "wow" out loud.

2) Culture- Everything here has so much more history to it than anything in the US. You feel like you are walking somewhere that has been a turning point in human civilizaton at all times.

3) Walkability- Overhere everyone walks and bikes EVERYwhere... it is really pretty amazing. The way we have explored every city is essentially just to walk around the city aimlessly. It has always been easy. This is not only fun to do but also leaves a smaller carbon footprint... well done Europe.

Negatives:

1) Beverage cost- Most of you know I drink a lot of beverage. When I am at a restaurant I often require a whole pitcher of water over the course of a meal. For this reason it upsets me greatly that water is not free over here. I guess I can understand charging something but here all drinks are unbelievably priced. Yesterday I had to pay 2 Euro for a can of sprite... what the shit?

2) not so public bathrooms- Bathrooms cost money too!  They charge 40 Eurocents per use which is a small enough cost I guess, but the system as a whole doesn't make any sense to me. Sure they generate some revenue, but then they have to pay someone to sit there and collect money from people going in which I think probably results in minimal gain for the owners of the bathroom. Just let me pee for free!

3) Confusing streets- The streets here (especially in Amsterdam) are not constructed in a logical way. Cars are going everywhere, there are no clearly defined places for pedestrians to walk. Bikes and Vespas run rough-shod over the streets. It all results in me being fearful of being hit by everything at all times. As a note... this does not affect it's walkability. You can easily get from everywhere in these cities to everywhere by foot.... you just might get hit walking first.

Aspirin

(note that this was written about four days before it was posted)

After a series of headaches and missteps in the attempt to go to Bruges we finally worked something out. By simply going to the train station we were able to acquire the right tickets to get us to Bruges and then to Amsterdam to check in at night. We had several near disasters but everything seemed to be smiling on us in the end. For example, on the way to Bruges we almost got onto the wrong train but a wonderful Romanian couple stopped us before the train took off. In a fortunate twist this couple was awesome and knew their way around. As a result we spent most of the rest of the day with them.

 From left to right: Squishy, Bolt, Our new Romanian Friends, Me)

Bruges is very similar to Brussels but with a few differences. The canals running through the city make for an amazing tour and 6 Euro is a steal for the value. The other big difference is that, while the chocolatieres are just as delicious they are much more risqué. Now we are in Amsterdam and I am wondering how I am going to make it out of the red light district alive. If I haven’t posted anything in a few weeks I have, indeed, died. 

Headaches on the road

With any trip like the one Bolt, Squishy and I have embarked on there are bound to be headaches, but I wasn’t expecting anything quite this soon.

 

While we were still in Ireland we encountered a Canadian girl at our hostel. She had been traveling around Europe for a few months and was full of tips for us. When we told her that we were stopping in Brussels she told us “then you have to go to Bruges.” She claimed the chocolate was just as good as Brussels but the atmosphere a hundred times better. After she showed me pictures I was convinced. If you imagine Brussels to be the city of the 17^th century nobility than Bruges looked to be the city of the proletariat.

 

Bruges is green and lush, but not in the same way that Ireland is. It looked plant life looks to be a combination of lush green and golden yellow. That combined with the simple yet beautiful architecture made for very impressive viewing. We decided immediately to try and get a train to Bruges.

 

Booking the train to Bruges was not an issue. What was an issue was booking a train from Bruges to Amsterdam (the next leg on our trip.) After trying to book the train for an hour we still had not achieved our goal. We tried several credit cards but every time we tried to pay our fare the card was denied.  Eventually and to our despair we decided to take the hit by eating the 13 Euro fare we paid on the ticket from Brussels to Bruges.

 

Although we were certainly in a frustrating situation it was heartening in a way. None of us erupted in anger at the others (although I for one could feel the frustration mounting inside me.) We all stayed calm and worked our way out of the situation as best we could. So although I think each of us probably could use a few advil, none of us are in search of new traveling companions. 

Found: Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory

Location: Brussels, Belgium

 

When we first arrived in Brussels I was not impressed. On the bus ride in everything looked bleak and sad; like a post-industrial depiction of “big city life.” But after a brief walk from our hostel to the main city square I became absolutely enchanted with this city. When we got to the main commercial area the first thing we did was partake in Belgium’s most famous breakfast food: The waffle. The restaurant we went to was obviously a tourist trap but we didn’t care. Our waffles soaked in Belgian “hot chocolate,” caramel sauce, strawberry’s and ice cream left a very good impression on us (a good taste in our mouths if you will.)

 

After this exquisite meal we walked through some of the most amazing architecture I have ever seen. Honestly, we were surrounded by huge castles, epic statues and memorials and (in my mind Brussels’ best feature) chocolatieres. 

 

Now, I have had Belgian chocolates before but nothing that could prepare me for the next few hours. We walked through literally dozens of chocolate shops each giving away free samples of some of the most delicious stuff you could ever subject your taste buds to. Many of you know I have a sweet tooth the size of Mt. Everest but after about 2 hours of walking around through different stores even I had had enough chocolate. I think Squishy summed it up the best when she said “it’s like Disney land but with chocolate.” Truly we felt like we were in a magic kingdom. After Ireland and Brussels Europe is looking like a mighty nice place to spend my retirement. 

The new IPA

So some of you may know my affinity for pale ales... particularly the IPA (India Pale Ale.) I find these beers to be the most flavorful and the most delicious. I am proud to report a new kind of IPA: the Irish Pale Ale.

Recommended to me by a waitress in Dublin this beer isn't quite as bitter as it's counterpart from India. It still has a full body but a more crisp and clean taste. 

I am in love. Again. 

Profile: Martin

While staying in our hostel in Dublin we ran into Martin, essentially our concierge. Martin was awesome, he was quick witted, friendly and he had the cool Irish accent which makes everything a little bit better. His desk had a sign on it which announced that he was the "director of first impressions." We were playing cards behind his desk during a slow time and he came up and talked to us to pass the time. This is when things started to get a little awkward. 

During our 20 minute conversation he must have made about 5 jokes about how his parents were dead. He said "you know a great man once said  'it's a shame to lose 1 parent... but if you lose 2 that is just irresponsible.' I suppose I need to get some responsibility." and "You know some people tell me I need to go get my mother, but I haven't got the guts" (at this one he held his hands around his stomach to drive the point home that he was joking about her death... it was weird. ) We laughed along awkwardly because we didn't really know what else to do. Overall, Martin is a really good guy but I think he is covering up being really sad about his parents by joking about it with Americans he has only known for like 15 minutes.  Either that or Irish people have a weird sense of humor.

P.S. Yes I know it is weird I took a picture with him... but I took the awkward bullet for the sake of this blog. You're welcome. 

Cast of Characters

My European adventures are officially underway. Here is the relevant cast of characters:

o   The Hamborgler: Debonair charmer on several continents. Although an inexperienced traveler his gusto and excitement more than makes up for anything he lacks.

o   Bolt:  a woman whose passport has been stamped everywhere in the world twice, she is easily the most experienced traveler of the group. She will hopefully lead our expedition to unprecedented heights.

o   Squishy: A traveling companion I will never leave home without. Squishy planned our entire trip’s logistics. Truly, it was amazing… she would just send me a link and say “book this flight” and that was all I had to think about. She was thrifty and resourceful. Amazing.

My Goodness, my Guiness

Stop one in my European adventure: Dublin, Ireland.

The trip to Dublin was uneventful. Nothing bizarre or interesting happened on our flight. Once we got off we could not get into our hostel for a couple of hours. This led us to stop into a pub right kitty-corner from our hostel where I could get a Guinness. This may sound like blasphemy, but I am not a huge fan of Guinness. Although I love dark beers I don’t like them to have the consistency of cough syrup. Despite this fact I still wanted to try a Guinness in Ireland… after all I hear it is much better. My analysis: it is marginally better, but still not good enough to make it the beer I will reach for throughout the rest of my trip.