The Flight Back

So I am sitting here in Chicago O'Hare airport and have dropped the $7.99 that was required of me to feed my Internet addiction for the next hour until my flight back to Minneapolis. For those of you wondering, my flight back was much more pleasant than my flight to Egypt (discussed a few posts ago.) I sat next to a lovely German woman who is currently a citizen of Italy. The only problem came from the in flight entertainment.

I haven't taken all that many long flights in my life, as a result I have fairly limited experience with American Airlines most bitter sweet feature: the In-Flight Movie. It is bitter sweet because while it is very nice to have something to watch to keep your mind off the fact you are rocketing through the air in a metal tube at 800Mph the movies are inevitably gonna be crappy.

This flight in particular became an acting clinic by Brendan Frasier (read: a shitty acting clinic.) First came Inkheart, the story of a father who is able to bring literary characters to life when he reads books out loud. His daughter has inherited this rare ability and things go awry when the team is attacked by the cast of a medieval adventure book called Inkheart. This movie is every bit as trite and horrid as it sounds. Please never watch it.

The next movie on tap was Journey to the Center of the Earth. Also starring Brendan Frasier. Also involving an in depth knowledge of literature from the Encino man. Also a piece of shit wrapped in tin foil molded into the shape of a swan and then reheated 3 weeks later. What do I have to do to get a half way decent movie in flight?