Celebrity Crushes

first things first- I wanna make it very clear that I am unbelievably happy with TheLady. It is the best and healthiest relationship I have ever been in. That being said I feel like this post may be in order. There are a few questions that I would describe as "stock" when you are first getting to know someone. These questions range from "democrat or republican?" to "what did you/do you major in in college?" One of the questions I have been confronted with time and time again is "who is your celebrity crush?"

  I have often struggled to answer this question. First of all, I always wanted to represent myself as an enlightened man, who is beyond picking his crushes based solely on physical appearance. Somehow along the way I have told myself this enough times that now I actually believe it. I am familiar with the "interweb" and so I am familiar with what most guys view as the pinnacle of physical sexual conquests, but that just doesn't do it for me. To earn the status of one of my celebrity crushes a woman must show me much more than a simple Maxim spread. So without further adu here is a list of my top celebrity crushes

1) Tina Fey

I think that a lot of people have a big crush on Ms. Fey. Aside from being very physically attractive Tina Fey seems cool as shit. She was the first female head writer of SNL which is pretty impressive and her TV show (30 Rock) is one of the funniest shows this decade. Although she is older, she ranks as #1 in my celebrity crush list, beating the rest of the competition by leaps and bounds.

2)Maggie Gyllenhaal

Some people put Gyllenhaal down, saying she is a "smush-face." Although I suppose I can see where this characterization comes from I still think she is pretty good looking. In addition to her good looks, Gyllenhaal is intelligent and classy by all accounts. Her staring roll in the best comic book movie of all time (the Dark Knight) doesn't hurt either.

 

3) Giada De Laurentiis

The only Food Network star on this list, Ms. DeLaurentiis is the the quintessential 1950's fantasy wife. She is super hot and also makes a phenomenal pork chop accompanied by potatoes Au gratin. She is by far the most crush-worthy Food Network star (if you mention Rachel Ray to me I will slap you silly).

 

4) Portia de Rossi

It is no secret that I think Arrested Development is the greatest show to ever exist on network television. Portia De Rossi was a big part of that. Aside from giving heterosexual males the "eye-candy" incentive necessary to tune into Fox she also showed that she is hilarious. I find it deeply regrettable that she is a lesbian (although I suppose I wouldn't have had a chance with her anyway).

5) Lena Svenson

The only local personality on this list, Lena is a DJ at the local radio station KDWB. I have been listening to morning radio more and more frequently lately (since I have been driving into school) and Svenson just seems down as shit. She also gains points for being a Minnesota girl. Doing a search for this post was actually the first time I have ever seen a picture of Ms. Svenson but she is pretty hot right?

*Post Script 

After listening to the She and Him album repeatedly I just realized how in love with Zooey Deschanel I am... she now tops everyone on this list except Tina Fey... they are tied